Solemn Oath Page 16

  The E.R. entrance door opened again, and Lukas looked over to find Theodore Zimmerman walk through, wearing jeans and a chambray work shirt. He was apparently on his way to work at Jack’s Print Shop downtown on the square. His steps were hesitant, and his tense gaze darted around the room until he caught sight of Lukas at the central station.

  “Dr. Bower,” he said, walking over to the station. “Can I talk to you for a minute? I won’t take much of your time.”

  His voice cracked, and Lukas noticed that his eyes were bloodshot, his face puffy. “I’m sorry, Theodore, but I can’t talk now.” Lukas gestured toward the patients coming in. “I’m just beginning what looks like a busy shift. Perhaps—”

  “Why don’t you let me take them for you, Dr. Bower?” Cherra interrupted. “I need to break in sometime, and I might as well make my trip up here worthwhile for you, too.”

  Lukas shrugged, trying not to allow frustration to show on his face. “Thank you, Dr. Garcias. I would appreciate it if you would take exam room seven first.” He took her arm and walked with her a few steps away from any listening ears. “She’s one of our techs, and she’s been taking ma huang and caffeine to lose weight for the past month or so. I suspect she’s overdosed. I warned her to slow it down, but apparently she hasn’t. Maybe she’ll listen to you.”

  Cherra nodded and headed toward the exam room, and Lukas turned back toward Theo.

  “I’m sorry, Dr. Bower,” Theo said. “I was on my way to work, and I thought I’d better stop by and apologize for last Thursday night. I probably got you into trouble with Mercy.”

  With anyone else, this wouldn’t irritate Lukas. “You didn’t ‘get me into trouble’ with anybody.”

  Theo paused. “I also need to talk with you about something else.”

  Lukas watched the man’s face for a moment. What was he up to now?

  “What do you want to talk about, Theodore? And please, call me Lukas.”

  Theo took a deep breath and let it out and reached up to push his short blond hair back from his forehead. “Thanks, Lukas. Could you come outside with me?” He glanced around at the filling E.R. waiting room, and at Carol, who was looking their way. “What I’ve got to say is kind of…personal.”

  “If it’s about Mercy again, I don’t—”

  “It isn’t. Honest. Please.” Theo held his gaze.

  Lukas relented and turned to the secretary. “Carol, we’ll be in the private waiting room. Call me immediately when the ambulance contacts us about the drowning victim.” He turned to lead the way without waiting to see if Theodore followed.

  The thick carpet and comfortably overstuffed chairs and sofa were decorated in peaceful shades of green and blue, and the windows overlooked a small rose garden. Soft classical music drifted through speakers in the ceiling. Lukas stepped in and took a chair across from the sofa.

  Theodore paused at the threshold and peered around. “I’ll never forget this room. It’s where I waited the night I hit Tedi. It’s where Estelle sat with me and bullied me into telling you what I’d done.” He shook his head and walked across to the sofa. His step was steady as he sat down with slow, deliberate movements, as if wary of disturbing too many painful memories, or maybe a headache.

  “I wasn’t always this way, Lukas,” Theodore said. “I didn’t drink much when Mercy and I first started dating.” He gestured around the room. “I spent a lot of time here at the hospital then, when she was first in practice with her father in his office. She had a lot of spare time back then, and when she wasn’t busy we would sit in the cafeteria between her appointments and talk for hours.” He sounded so wistful and sad. “I was working as a real estate agent then, and when I didn’t have to be in the office I was here. There was something about Mercy that…” He glanced swiftly at Lukas. “Well, anyway, I know this hospital well. I was here when they did the remodeling in this wing, and I even helped nail Sheetrock. But what I really wanted to do was X-ray. I loved it. It got to where I thought I knew those machines as well as anybody, just because I spent so much time watching and learning. I thought I might make a good X-ray technologist.”

  “So why didn’t you?”

  Theo shrugged. “I was already a real estate agent, even though I didn’t like it. I thought if I sold a lot of property Mercy might consider marrying me. I mean, how much can an X-ray tech make compared to a family practice physician?”

  Lukas watched him and felt a tug of pity.

  “Mercy was right Thursday night,” Theo said softly. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, his light blue eyes filled with self-reproach. “I haven’t changed. I still treat her the same way, building my case against her with the people closest to her. I’ve always done that. I even used Tedi against her when I could.” He looked down and rubbed his face with his hands. “She hates it.”

  “Wouldn’t you?”

  Theo looked back up at him. “Yeah. I do it even when I don’t know I’m doing it, just like with the booze. My apartment’s about three blocks from a liquor store, and about ten times this weekend I had myself convinced that one little drink would actually be a good thing, just to prove to myself that I was cured of it.” Theo slumped back into the soft cushions and laid his head back with a sigh. “I was lying to myself.”

  Lukas waited. I don’t know what it’s like to be addicted, and I can’t identify with him. Why can’t he get what he needs with all the A.A. meetings they have around Knolls? Lukas cleared his throat and started to mention that very thing, when Theo sat back up.

  “You said something the other night about this guy in the Bible who couldn’t straighten out his own life and just got worse. Whatever happened to him?”

  So that’s it. “The Bible doesn’t say, but I gather from the words that he died still lying to himself.”

  Theodore stared at him. “That’s all?”

  “It was a warning. Jesus was telling the people that they couldn’t just keep evil out of their lives by the force of their own will. Evil is stronger than we are, and it will control us. Even if we manage to extricate ourselves from bad situations, like alcohol or drug abuse or child abuse or manipulative behavior, we can’t keep ourselves from doing it again, or from doing something worse. We are susceptible to the control of Satan and his evil spirits unless we allow a stronger Spirit to control us, and that can only be the Spirit of Christ, God’s Son.”

  Theo did not break eye contact, but his gaze intensified, grew pleading. “That’s what I want.”

  Lukas stared at him. Just like that?

  Theo spread his hands. “Can’t you see? That’s my only hope.”

  Lukas took a moment to digest what Theo was saying. As though Christ were just some tool for Theodore to use, to manipulate the way he manipulated everyone else? Once, when Lukas was in his third year at UMC, another student had pretended to seek out his friendship. He’d attended worship services with Lukas, listened to him tell about Christ and feigned interest in learning more. Then he had hit Lukas up for money, saying he needed help to buy textbooks. And Lukas had lent him the money. Later he discovered the money had been used to buy pornographic magazines.

  Was Theo setting him up the same way?

  Theo dropped his hands to his lap and bent his head. “I can’t live like this anymore.”

  Lukas took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He thought of Mercy and her continuing struggle to accept God’s offer of salvation because of her own feelings of unworthiness—much of which came from the way this man had treated her for the past ten years. Why should Theo’s sins drive him to Christ before his victim could bring herself to come?

  “Please, Lukas,” Theo said. “Tell me what I need to do. My own daughter tried to tell me about Christ, but I wouldn’t listen. I want to listen now.” He leaned forward, and his reddened eyes filled with tears. “I’m drinking again.” His face contorted, and a sob shook his broad shoulders. He looked down and covered his face, and for a moment he cried. His nose ran. His neck reddened. He wa
sn’t manipulating anyone.

  And then Lukas felt the compassion. This was real. He reached over and pulled a couple of tissues from the container beside his chair, then got up, stepped silently across the deep carpet and sat down beside Theodore. He placed the tissues in Theo’s hands and waited.

  Lukas had no idea what it would be like to be caught in such a deadly habit. How would it feel not to have known about Christ from your earliest memories of childhood? Lukas knew from Mercy that Theodore’s parents divorced when Theo was ten years old, and he was still in high school when his father died. Lukas could only imagine all Theo had gone through.

  Lord, forgive me. Now I know how Jonah felt when he tried to escape his mission to Nineveh. Don’t send the giant fish just yet. I really do want to do Your will. All these years I’ve asked You to use me, and now that it looks like You are, so quickly and with so little effort, I’m resentful. Help me to forgive.

  Theodore used the tissues to wipe his face and nose, and he rested his elbows on his knees and continued to cover his face with his hands. “Thursday night after Jarvis kicked me out of his house, I walked home.” He shrugged. “I don’t have a car now, so I walk everywhere I go. Anyway, I passed the liquor store three blocks from my apartment, and then I turned around and went in. I bought a pint of whiskey, promising myself I wouldn’t drink the whole thing, just a couple of swallows to kill the pain.”

  Lukas leaned forward. “Pain from what?”

  Theo wiped his face again and sat back. “From seeing myself more clearly than I ever have. Mercy was right—I hadn’t changed, and I knew it. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.” He looked at Lukas. “I drank half the bottle Thursday night before midnight, then I was so sick for the next three days, I barely got out of bed. I finished the bottle last night, and I couldn’t get any more because the liquor store was closed. This morning when I woke up I decided that if I buy any more booze, I’ll just buy a couple of gallons and keep on drinking until it kills me.” He continued to hold Lukas in his gaze. “I can’t…1 won’t live like this anymore.” Tears once more spilled from his eyes. He still looked sick.

  Before Lukas could think of any comforting words, the door flew open and Buck rushed in. “Dr. Bower, Dr. Garcias sent me to tell you that Amanda’s crashing. Also, Carol caught me on the way in here, and the paramedic with the drowning victim is calling for you from the ambulance. We need you—now!”

  Chapter Eleven

  “I want birth control pills.” Fifteen-year-old Shannon Becker did not make eye contact with Mercy but sat slumped on the table after her female exam, shoulders curved forward in a position that demonstrated a discomfort with her rapidly burgeoning female contours.

  Mercy tried not to allow her sudden shock to show on her face. “I see.” Oh boy, did she see. What was she supposed to do about this? She refused to allow this sweet child to join the meat-market parade. “You mentioned a concern about your complexion.” That was lame and she knew it, but she had to stall for time. That could be Tedi sitting on that exam table in a few years. She turned toward the small desk along the wall of the exam room. “I can prescribe a cream for acne that will be safer than—”

  “No, I don’t want the pills for zits.” Shannon reached up and wrapped a strand of her shoulder-length light brown hair around her right forefinger. She blinked, looked at the floor, then back at the delicate cloud pattern of the wallpaper, anywhere but at Mercy. “My friends told me that a doctor can’t report to a girl’s parents if she gets birth control pills.”

  With a silent sigh, Mercy stood and assisted her young patient down from the exam bed and gestured toward a chair. “That’s right. Legally I can’t tell your parents about your request for contraceptives.” And right now Mercy hated the legalities of her profession.

  She’d watched Shannon grow up for ten years, ever since her parents, Zach and Lee Becker, sought out Mercy to be their family physician. Even during the divorce and the rumors about Mercy’s mental problems, the Beckers had been faithful to her, had trusted her judgment and medical expertise. And now she felt like a traitor.

  “Our discussion will be confidential.”

  Shannon’s expressive gray eyes flicked toward Mercy for the first time during the visit. “Discussion?” Her face flushed.

  “Of course.”

  “But you gave me the exam. Can’t you just write me a prescription for the pill now? Why do we have to talk about anything?”

  Mercy made a notation on Shannon’s chart and checked the noticeable weight gain since her last visit a year ago. Adolescence had attacked this child with a vengeance. “I talk to all of my patients, or their parents, about the treatment they will be receiving.”

  “And you really won’t tell Mom?” There was a faint quiver in Shannon’s voice, the scared little girl hiding behind the crumbly veneer of a teenager.

  Mercy patted the girl’s slightly plump shoulder. This was the Shannon she had always known and loved. “Get your clothes on, honey, then come down the hallway to the second door on the right. It’s my office. We can talk there.” She grinned. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to eat you.”

  Lukas rushed back into the E.R. from the private waiting room. “Buck, tell Dr. Garcias I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He glanced at Theodore, who came out behind him. “Can you wait for me?” He suddenly wanted to continue the conversation he’d been so anxious to avoid earlier.

  “I’ve got to go to work.”

  “If you’re serious about what you said in there, can you find a Bible somewhere today?”

  “My boss sells them at the print shop.”

  “Then find time on your break to read the first chapter of Isaiah and start on the book of John.” Lukas stepped to the radio and pressed a button. “This is medical control.”

  It was the ambulance with the young drowning victim. “We are currently inbound to your facility with a class-one medical full code. Repeat, patient is a full code. She is in v-fib, and we have attempted defibrillation three times without success. Patient is intubated and IV established times one. C-collar in place, patient on backboard. ETA of ten minutes. Further order at this time?”

  “Does patient have obvious injuries?” Lukas looked up to see Claudia coming through the E.R. entrance. The cavalry had arrived.

  The voice came back over the radio. “Patient has numerous abrasions, no active bleeding. Full assessment not done due to patient severity.”

  “Understood. What was the initial rhythm?”

  “Pulseless electrical activity.”

  Lukas frowned. You couldn’t shock someone with pulseless electrical activity. It did no good. Then he realized what had happened—they’d had to intubate her, and that had thrown her into v-fib. He’d seen it happen before.

  In the background Lukas heard Lauren greeting Claudia with a patient assessment when Lauren’s words registered.

  “Claudia, would you withdraw an ampule of Inderal from the drug dispenser? We need it in exam room seven. Amanda’s in there, and she’s crashing.”

  Lukas jerked around. “Hold it! Lauren, what’s going on?”

  She glanced over at him in surprise.

  “Dr. Garcias is requesting Inderal for Amanda?” he said. That drug would not work for an ephedrine overdose. In fact, it could be lethal. “What’s happening in there?”

  Lauren stepped toward Lukas. “Her heart rate and blood pressure went up, and she’s much less responsive. Her fever shot up, and she didn’t improve with fluids.”

  “Lauren, I need you in here,” came Cherra’s voice from the exam room, and Lauren turned to obey.

  The radio sparked to life again. “Medical control, be advised patient is extremely cold. Recommend you initiate hypothermia protocol upon arrival. Over.”

  Lukas ignored the radio. “Lauren, wait! Tell her to wait!”

  The voice from the radio came back. “Medical control, are you there? Did you copy our last transmission? Over.”

  Lukas reached back quickly
and punched the button. “Yes, we copied your last transmission. Keep us advised. This is medical control out.” He jumped up and ran into exam room seven.

  Amanda lay on the bed with a clear oxygen mask on her face and a large IV tube attached to her left arm. Monitor leads were attached to her chest beneath her hospital gown. Tears streamed from her sea-green eyes and dripped into fine tendrils of curly brown hair around her face.

  Claudia entered the room with the Inderal and handed it to Lauren.

  Dr. Garcias bent over Amanda with her stethoscope. “You’re going to be okay, hon.” She looked up and saw Lukas. “Dr. Bower, I just happened to notice this a few minutes ago.” She reached over and gestured toward the center of Amanda’s throat. “Feel that?”

  He stepped forward and gently palpated her neck. There was an unmistakable midline mass. He looked up at Cherra in surprise. “Goiter.” Immediately he remembered what Amanda had told him about her easy weight loss over the past few months, long before she’d begun taking the natural herb. He nodded at Cherra. “Thyroid storm, possibly precipitated by the ma huang.” He’d overlooked the obvious. Why hadn’t he listened better to his patient?

  “Exactly what I think,” Cherra said. “I just ordered a thyroid profile plus TSH level, but we won’t get that back for a while, so I decided to do this clinically. The curly hair confused me, because fine, straight hair is typical of hyperthyroid, but Amanda told me she has a perm.” Cherra indicated her own curly black hair. “That shouldn’t surprise me, since I have one myself.”

  Lukas exhaled heavily and nodded. “Nice pickup. You obviously know how to treat this. I’ll leave you to it. I’ve got to get ready for a code.”

  “Dr. Mercy, we have a little more time this morning than we expected.” Josie, Mercy’s nurse, placed a chart on Mercy’s desk. “Those Knights are a stubborn family.” Her short black hair reflected the rays of sunshine streaming through the window.

  Mercy looked at the chart and felt a thrust of familiar frustration, something she often experienced when dealing with the Knights. “Did Darlene cancel another appointment?”