Sacred Trust Read online

“Then lay those drugs on me, Doc.”

  Tedi knew she was in trouble the moment Heather’s mother dropped her off at home after school Thursday. Dad’s car was in the drive, and he never came home early on Thursdays. It could only mean one thing—that counselor had told him what she’d said this morning. But how much had he told him? She almost didn’t go inside, but the moment she took a step along the sidewalk in the direction of the neighbors, the front door opened and Dad stepped out.

  Tedi stopped and looked at him for a moment. She didn’t smile and didn’t speak, and neither did he. He just stared back at her. For the first time the thought came to her that her own father was probably her worst enemy in the world, not Abby Cuendet or Alex Holmes, the class bully. In fact, she decided, Dad didn’t deserve to be called a dad. From now on she would call him what Mom called him—Theo. If she had the guts.

  “Come in the house, Tedi.” His voice was quiet.

  She stood watching him. She didn’t want to go in the house. He could say what he wanted to say to her out here where the neighbors could see if they looked out their windows.

  He frowned. His voice rose an octave. “I said come in.”

  She readjusted her book bag over her shoulder and glanced longingly toward the road, where Heather’s mother’s car had disappeared out of sight. She couldn’t tell from here whether Dad—Theo—had been drinking or not.

  “Tedi!” His voice had that warning in it again.

  “Why do I have to come in?”

  He pulled the door open farther and took a step out.

  She relented and walked toward him slowly, glaring at him the way she glared at Alex when he picked on the little kids during recess.

  When she reached him he stood back and held the door open. “How was school?”

  “Fine.” She let her voice sound the way it did when she talked to Abby—hateful. She stepped through the door. He didn’t move, but she could feel him watching her. She still couldn’t smell his breath.

  “Was math class okay?”

  She didn’t react, didn’t even turn around to look at him. She didn’t want to look at him. “Fine.”

  “Really? I thought you weren’t supposed to be in math class this morning.”

  “I was there.”

  “You left Nick’s office early.”

  She shrugged as if it were no big deal, but her heart started beating harder, faster. “So?”

  He shut the door behind her. Hard. She froze. Don’t turn around. Don’t act scared.

  “Don’t you sass me. You wasted good money and Nick’s valuable time and just walked out on him.”

  She gritted her teeth. “Why should you care? Mom’s paying.”

  There was a long silence; then she heard a step behind her. “I’m sick of hearing that!” He grabbed her left shoulder and jerked her around so hard she thought she heard bones popping. His fingers dug into her flesh.

  “Ouch! You’re hurting me!” She tried to pull away, but he just squeezed tighter and grabbed the other shoulder.

  His face was flushed deep red, and his eyes glared at her like blue lights. He looked like a devil as his face grew closer and closer to hers, and his hot breath touched her skin. Booze breath. “You’ll know what pain is if you keep using that smart mouth of yours.” His fingers tightened even more. Tedi felt so scared she didn’t even try to pull away.

  She started to tremble deep inside her body, and she couldn’t stop it. Quick tears stung her eyes. “I’m sorry! I didn’t want to talk to him anyway, b-but Mom said—”

  “Mom said!” Dad mimicked. “Mom said! You hang on to every word she says like you think she’s the only one that matters!” He shouted loudly enough for the neighbors to hear. “And now you’re trying to get a psychologist to testify in court against me?”

  Tedi cringed. “He told you what I said?”

  “I’m the legal guardian, in case you can’t remember that, and it’s not going to change. I have every right to know what you tell him. If I hear one more time that you’re going to go live with your mother, I’ll see to it you never see her again.” Another shake. “Do you hear me?”

  Tedi’s chin quivered. She tried to answer, but she couldn’t find her voice.

  “I’ll put her in the mental ward again. It’s where she belongs anyway. I’ll ruin her name in this whole county. She’ll never practice medicine again. And don’t tell me I wouldn’t do it. I can make a living for us on my own. I don’t depend on your mother’s money. Besides, if you go live with her, the money will stop anyway. What’ve I got to lose?”

  Tedi shook her head. He couldn’t do those things, could he?

  He jerked her by the shoulders again, but this time she was too numb to feel it.

  “What happened to your smart mouth?” he demanded. “It was working fine a minute ago. It was working fine this morning when you spilled your guts to Nick, wasn’t it?”

  Tedi couldn’t stop shaking, and she couldn’t make her voice work.

  He shook her harder. “Answer me!”

  Sobs rose in her throat. She nodded.

  “You told him everything, didn’t you?”

  “H-he d-didn’t believe me,” she managed at last.

  Another jerk. “What didn’t he believe?” This time he forced her to within three inches of his face.

  Her face crumpled with sobs. “Stop it, Daddy! Please! I’m scared.”

  “You should be. What did you tell him?” He shook her again.

  “D-didn’t he tell you?”

  “Refresh my memory.”

  “J-just that…I spent the night alone.” She could barely hear her own voice.

  “What? Speak up! I can’t hear you.” He shouted so loudly it made her ears ring.

  She took a deep breath and tried to straighten her shoulders. He just held tighter.

  “I told him that I spent the…the night alone.”

  “What else?”

  “That I was afraid of you because…you might get d-drunk and hit me.”

  His hold loosened on her shoulders for a moment, as if in surprise. “What else?”

  “I told him…”

  His hands tightened again. It felt like he was ripping her shoulders off. “What?”

  “That I thought…” She couldn’t say it. Her voice just wouldn’t come.

  “You thought what?” He released her right shoulder, and his hand came up to poise threateningly above her face. “What?”

  She glanced in fear at the hand. “That I thought you’d kill me, Daddy!”

  He released her and straightened. The shock on his face told her that Nick hadn’t told him that. He paled, then once again the color returned.

  Tedi took a step back. Fury filled his expression again, and he lunged for her.

  She screamed, threw her book bag at him and turned to run. She reached the stairs and started up them. Dad grabbed at her arm and caught her sleeve. It ripped as she jerked away, still screaming as loudly as she could. The neighbors would hear. They would call the police.

  She darted into her bedroom and slammed the door, then locked it and pushed a chair in front of it.

  A loud thump filled the room when Dad hit the door with his body. The wood of the door crackled but held.

  “Let me in this door, or I’ll break it down!”

  “No! The neighbors’ll call the police!” she shouted past chattering teeth.

  “Oh, yeah? Who’re they going to believe? A kid, or her dad?” The doorknob rattled; then his weight hit the door again.

  Tedi screamed.

  Dad’s fists pounded the wood. “They won’t believe your mother, either.”

  Tedi tried to take a deep breath, but she was shaking so badly she couldn’t get much air. Could he really ruin Mom? Could he put her in the hospital again? Tears flowed freely down Tedi’s face, and she hiccuped with sobs.

  Everything grew quiet for a moment except for Tedi’s crying; then Dad pounded the door hard one last time. “Okay, stay in there. I don�
�t care if you starve to death!” She heard him back away from the door. “But remember this, kid. If you say anything to your mother or grandmother about this, you’ll never see them again. Do you hear me? And it will be your fault.”

  She couldn’t answer. Her sobs came so fast she could barely breathe.

  “And I don’t want to go to court again. If I do, I’ll tear your mother to shreds. She doesn’t want you anyway. She’s just worried about what people are saying because she lost custody of her child.”

  Tedi shook her head. It couldn’t be true, could it? What could he do to Mom? Could he really put her back in the hospital? The way he was acting right now, he might hurt her, run her over with a car or something, or even hurt Grandma. He was the crazy one.

  Finally she heard him go down the steps and out the front door. Still trembling, she went to the window and saw him get into the car and back out of the drive. He drove away.

  Still fighting for breath past her crying, Tedi removed the chair and unlocked the door. On shaking legs she went downstairs and to the front door. She looked outside one last time, just to make sure Dad hadn’t changed his mind and come back. The drive was empty. She walked into the family room, sat down on the couch, and picked up the telephone receiver. She dialed Mom’s number by memory and waited.

  “Hello.”

  “Mom?” Tedi couldn’t help it. Sobs shook her again. She caught her breath and tried to stop it, but her body wouldn’t cooperate.

  “Yes, sweetheart, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  She had to stop crying. She couldn’t let Mom guess what was happening. She sniffed again and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

  “Tedi?” Mom’s voice sounded so warm and secure and close. “Talk to me, honey. Are you okay? What’s—”

  “I’m okay, Mom. It’s just…I just…Oh, Mom, don’t do it. Don’t take Dad to court. I’ve changed my mind. I want…” She couldn’t say it. It was such a horrible lie. She wanted to live with Mom so badly.

  “Tedi, tell me what’s going on. Talk to me. Why are you crying? Why have you suddenly changed your mind? Has your father—”

  “Please, Mom! I just…don’t…want to hurt your feelings.” Her throat closed up again. She was lying! But she had to. She had to protect Mom and Grandma…and herself. “That’s all. I love you, and I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I want to stay here. It’s…home.”

  There was a moment of silence, and Tedi felt a rush of fear. Did Mom guess she was lying? Did she know from Tedi’s voice what was really happening?

  “Tedi, are you sure about this?” Mercy’s voice was quiet and sad.

  Tedi felt so horrible. She hated Theo Zimmerman. Hated him! “Yeah, Mom. I just miss you, that’s all. I want to stay here, but I wish I could see you more.”

  Then suddenly there was a tone of suspicion in Mom’s voice. “Did the counselor talk you into this?”

  “No. I got tired of talking to him and left early. I’m sorry. I wasted money.”

  “It’s okay, honey. I just wanted you to be able to talk to someone you could trust. If you felt you couldn’t trust this person, I don’t blame you for leaving. We’ll find someone else for you. Do you want me to try to get more visitation rights?”

  Another pause. “No. Don’t go back to court. It’ll just drag things out.”

  Mercy sighed. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” No, Mom! I want to live with you forever! I hate him. “I’ve got to go do my homework now. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay, Tedi.”

  “Don’t be too disappointed, Mom.”

  “I’ll be okay. How about you?”

  “I’m…fine. I’ve just got homework. Bye, Mom.” Her voice shook. Her whole body shook, and she couldn’t make it stop.

  “Goodbye, Tedi. I love you. Never forget that. Nothing will change that, ever.”

  Tedi sniffed, then hiccuped, then hung up the phone and fell across the sofa with fresh sobs.

  Late Thursday night a sober but hungover Theo unlocked the front door of his home and stepped inside. No lights had shone from Tedi’s upstairs bedroom window, and he hadn’t expected any. Was she even here? He didn’t want to go up and check her room and possibly terrify her again. He’d done enough damage for one day.

  He’d spent the whole afternoon sitting in his office cubicle, staring at the wall and listening to the phone ring over and over and over again, both his office and cell phone. He couldn’t forget his own daughter’s screams, or the fact that he’d been the one to cause them.

  This time he had to lay off the booze. He had to.

  He’d drunk three pots of coffee and forced down three Big Macs and waited for Mercy to walk through the office door and start blasting away at him with a sawed-off shotgun. Or maybe she would come at him with a knife—she had a more hands-on style. He’d picked up the phone to call her once and maybe initiate some damage control, but he hadn’t even had the guts to dial.

  Now he was tired of waiting and wondering. He went into the den, pulled out his keys, and opened the bottom drawer of his desk. Inside was a small gray recorder connected to the telephone system. He’d installed this thing months ago but had only activated it this morning after Nick warned him that Mercy might try to take him back to court for custody of Tedi. He pressed the button, sat back and listened.

  Chapter Eighteen

  A week passed in peaceful, though sad, busyness for Mercy. She told herself that she could understand why Tedi wanted to stay in the home she’d known most of her life, but the rejection still stung. Security was important to a child, but Mercy couldn’t help feeling just a little sorry for herself when she watched her own mother prepare for a hiking trip to Colorado. Everybody else had a life, but Mercy still felt stuck on hold, unworthy to even care for her own child. There was only so far she could bury herself in her work without total burnout, and sometimes her free hours weighed heavily—not that she would ever put the burden of her own social needs onto Tedi. A nasty little voice reminded her several times throughout the week that she was the one who chose not to have a social life. She’d countered with the argument that she’d prefer boredom and loneliness over marriage. After all, how many happy marriages had she witnessed in her lifetime? Few.

  Josie, her disgustingly in-love nurse, constantly preached about the joys of being married to “the right man.” “Oh, yeah?” Mercy had said. “And what happens when the ‘right man’ turns out to be a jerk in disguise? They don’t show their real colors until after marriage.”

  Josie had smiled and said, “If you both belong to Christ and put Him first, then He will guide your marriage. A long courtship also helps, so you can make sure the guy really does belong to Christ and he’s not just faking. Take a year or two to get to know the guy.”

  Mercy thought again about those words as she drove into the Knolls Community Hospital doctors’ parking lot Thursday morning. She’d gone to high school with Theo but hadn’t married him until she was twenty-nine. She had just moved back home after residency training in Tulsa when they became reacquainted at a high school football homecoming. They were married the next spring. Neither of them “belonged” to Christ. Mercy wasn’t even sure what that meant, although she was sure Mom or Josie or Lukas would be happy to tell her.

  It was obvious to her now that she’d never really known Theodore Zimmerman. The problem was, how could she have? No chemical company had come out with a litmus test for potential marriage partners. She couldn’t trust her own discernment. Therefore, it was best to learn from past mistakes and leave the choice of matrimony to wiser, or more foolhardy, women.

  She sighed as she wrapped her stethoscope over her shoulders and picked up her bag from the seat. It did no good to think about the past and wonder what might have been if she’d met the right man. She hadn’t. She’d tried and lost.

  Still, she thought as she walked into the quiet E.R., she had to stop dismissing all men as worthless. Some even showed signs of integrity—Lukas, for instanc
e. His transparency ran deep. He was awkward and clumsy on a date, and he obviously had little experience where women were concerned. That was probably because he’d spent all of his time studying and working and discovering how to be the best doctor he could be. There was an inner peace about him, a kind of joy that he radiated to his patients, even though he also betrayed loneliness at times. Every patient of Mercy’s that he had seen in the E.R. had nothing but praise for him about his gentleness, his caring and the amount of time he spent with them. He was obviously a patient advocate.

  Granted, one good man out of twenty was a pretty poor representation, but it was enough to give Mercy hope that they weren’t all duds. Speak of the devil, Lukas was sitting at the main desk doing charts when Mercy entered. He looked sleepy.

  “Got a patient for me?” she greeted.

  “Just dismissing the last one. Strep.” He looked up at her and smiled. “How’re you doing?” he asked. “I haven’t seen you for a week.”

  “Don’t ask.” Mercy set her bag down and took another chair beside Lukas. “What have you heard about the Knights? I trust you’ve called to check on them as you said you would.”

  “Yes, twice, in fact.” Lukas slid his stack of charts toward Carol. “The first time I called on Saturday, Darlene told me she felt better and that Clarence was complaining because he was wearing out the floor to the bathroom.”

  “Good.” Mercy leaned back in her chair and rested her feet on an open file drawer. “That probably means he’s taking the Lasix and that it’s working.”

  “She said he was.”

  “And the metformin?”

  “Apparently he’s being compliant.”

  Mercy whistled. “Amazing. Who’d’a thunk it?”

  “There’s more.” Lukas’s grin widened.

  For the first time, Mercy noticed the cleft of his chin and the firm line of his jawbone. Stop it, Mercy! “More?”

  “Yes, remember I told you I called twice. The second time I called on Monday, Darlene told me Clarence had reduced his own food rations, and so far he was sticking to it. She also caught him exercising his arms in cadence to the music coming from that ancient black-and-white television in his room. He stopped when he saw her, but she was encouraged. So am I.”