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  “Nathan!” she screamed, her voice lost in the deafening whine of the saw’s engine. She grasped the denim material, tugged and pulled to dislodge it from the cup. She felt it rip, felt the chain jerk as she freed Nathan.

  Then something tugged at her foot—a strong jerk that threw her off balance and pulled her inches before she could reach out to grab a conveyor support bar and brace herself against the pull of chain. Her left pant leg was caught, and she couldn’t rip it free.

  “Help me! Nathan!”

  The engine drowned her cries. She could not kick away.

  “Nathan!” She looked up and saw movement beyond his prone body.

  A figure stood in the dimness, a woman staring at her, cupping her ears against the noise.

  The dim glow from the office lights revealed her sister. Jill!

  For agonizing moments, Noelle stared into her sister’s face, the pain of fear and betrayal freezing her movements.

  The sawdust drag gave another jerk, breaking her grip on the conveyor support. Again she cried out, grasping for another support beam, her feet less than a yard away from the screaming sawblade.

  She looked up to see Jill turning away, running across the building. Running toward the power switch.

  Relief strengthened Noelle’s grasp. But only for a moment. Another shadow joined her sister’s before she could reach the switch, thrusting Jill aside, then shoving her again. Jill fought back. The two tangled, becoming one in the shadows as Noelle’s aching fingers weakened, her sweaty hands losing their grip.

  It would do no good to scream, and she could not waste her strength. She had to hold on. The power of the drag might not be stronger than she was.

  But how long could she hang on?

  She could not see Jill now or see what was happening.

  Nathan moved.

  She saw his arms draw back to push himself up. He hesitated, raised his head, fell back. She couldn’t reach him; he couldn’t hear her.

  He moved again, slowly pushed himself up, glanced back and saw her. His mouth moved. He shouted something, swinging around to reach for her.

  “No!” she screamed. “Turn it off! Turn the switch off! Hurry!” She was too close to the saw for him to pull her to safety. She couldn’t let go or the recoil of the drag would swing her into the hungry teeth of the monster.

  Nathan understood. Staggering, holding the back of his neck, he rushed with unsteady legs toward the switch.

  Noelle could feel air on her bare ankles, fanning from the motion of the saw. The fingers of her left hand began losing their grip; one by one, and fell away from the bar. At that moment, the drag chain flexed and heaved a strong tug. The force snapped the grip of Noelle’s right hand. She felt herself being dragged backward.

  Her scream was drowned out by the engine roar, which suddenly grew louder as the power circuit disengaged. The drag chain released its grip, just as the overhead lights threw a bright glare into Noelle’s eyes. The steel edges of the saw slowed. Noelle reached down, ripped her pant leg from the drag, pulled herself free, and rolled out from beneath the conveyer.

  The fading sounds of the mill revealed other sounds of struggle.

  Two struggling forms were backed against a flatbed trailer that was piled high with logs. Noelle saw gray strands of hair, a blue work shirt, a set of bony shoulders and recognized her great-aunt. With an amazing strength for her age, Pearl held Jill against the trailer edge.

  Red-faced, breathing heavily, Jill grasped Pearl’s arms. “I can’t let you keep killing!”

  “It’s already too late, can’t you see that?”

  Noelle gasped. A memory, old and painful, suddenly surfaced. “Aunt Pearl!” She started forward.

  “No!” Jill cried. “Stay back. These logs aren’t secure.”

  Noelle took another step. “Aunt Pearl, please listen.”

  “Stay right where you are, Noelle, or this whole load of logs’ll come down on us all. I’ve done it before, I can do it again.”

  Noelle felt as if she’d been kicked in the stomach. Aunt Pearl had done this before? Ten years ago? “We’ll…we’ll help you, Pearl!” How many people had she killed?

  “Didn’t you hear me! It’s too late! Too many betrayals, too many deaths. My own father saw to it that I would never inherit if anyone found out. Harvey couldn’t keep his foul mouth shut. I would have lost control of the land.” Her voice caught. “That trust is destroying the whole family.”

  “That’s not what’s destroying the family, Pearl,” Jill said softly. “It’s your reaction to it.”

  Pearl shoved Jill harder against the trailer. “It doesn’t matter anymore, though, does it? Everything’s lost, can’t you see that? I love this land more than I love my own life. I’d do anything for this land. No way can I leave it now.”

  “Aunt Pearl, please!” Noelle cried, stepping forward. She held her breath, knowing the logs could topple at any second.

  “No!” Jill screamed, as Pearl shoved her harder against the trailer.

  A log shifted on top. It rolled down to the next log, bumped against it.

  “Look out!” Noelle cried. She stumbled forward over stacks of slab wood. The rest of the logs shifted, tumbling to the edge of the flatbed.

  Noelle reached for her sister’s shirt and jerked Jill toward her, out of the avalanche of logs. Together they fell hard on the concrete and rolled away. A second later, the logs covered Pearl.

  Noelle and Jill found Nathan lying where he had fallen beside the power switches. Noelle dropped to her knees beside him, horrified by the sight of so much blood on his neck and shoulder, by his colorless face. She reached down and touched his cheek, still warm. Her fingers moved down to the pulse at his throat, the beat reassuringly strong and even.

  His chest vibrated with a groan.

  “Nathan?”

  His eyes opened. He looked up at her with such intensity and love that Noelle caught her breath.

  “I’m okay,” he breathed. “Thank God you’re safe.” He reached up to touch her face. “I didn’t know if I’d reached the power switch in time.”

  She grasped his hand and kissed it, pressing it against her cheek.

  Jill turned away. “I’ll go call for help.”

  Nathan tried to sit up, and Noelle stopped him. “Try not to move. You’ve lost a lot of blood.”

  He lay back down. “What happened?”

  “It was Pearl,” she said. “I had the evidence staring me in the face today. I remembered the handwriting, and I checked those ledger sheets. They were more than ten years old. Pearl kept the books then. Her letters were always so precise, unlike the rest of us. I know that handwriting well, because she writes all the labels for the herbs we sell at the store. The ledgers had been copied multiple times by hand. Each page at least three times.”

  “So that’s what you meant.”

  “And remember when you told me OCD didn’t make a person dangerous, but some other disorder, or a head injury, might cause a behavior problem? Pearl herself told me about Jill pushing her years ago. She fell and it knocked her silly. That was even before Mom died.”

  The next moment, Jill was back with the news that Taylor Jackson was on his way. “It was Pearl,” Jill said. “I did some snooping while you were all down here. I found the back rooms of her house filled with things she could never bring herself to throw away—empty cans, plastic wrappers, stacks of mail and newspapers. She had OCD, too, and she never told anyone about it because she was so desperate to retain control of the property. It meant everything to her.”

  “Where is she now?” Nathan asked.

  Noelle looked at her sister. She thought that she had run dry of tears, but she was wrong. “She’s dead. The logs fell on her.” She swallowed. “I remembered something else. I heard Mom arguing with Pearl right here in the sawmill before we went to the cave the day Mom died. I remembered Pearl telling Mom they had to keep the secret. They were arguing about Jill. Later, I knew something was wrong with Jill, becau
se I saw her checking the doors over and over again to make sure they were locked.”

  “But I got help,” Jill said. “Sometimes I slip back into old ways of behavior, but most of the time, when the stress isn’t overwhelming, with behavior modification, and sometimes medication, it’s under control.”

  Jill reached down and touched Noelle’s head. “It’s all going to be okay. You stay here with Nathan. Taylor will be here any moment. I’ll bring him in.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  For the second morning in a row, Noelle woke up from a night of restless sleep to the dim light of the clinic. This time, however, no nightmares had plagued her. The real events of the past two days had been nightmares enough.

  Oh, Aunt Pearl…

  She stretched her cramped legs and pulled herself up from the sofa. Voices floated into the waiting room from Cheyenne’s office. Before she could talk herself out of it, Noelle pulled out the cell phone that Jill had recharged for her and punched in the number on the slip of paper that Jill had given her yesterday.

  This was crazy. But holding grudges and being afraid wasn’t exactly healthy either. If there was the smallest chance to put some more nightmares to rest, Noelle wanted to take it.

  A sleep-filled voice answered on the fifth ring. It was Joel. She almost pressed the disconnect button, but instead she swallowed and took a breath.

  “Hi, Joel. This is Noelle. I got a note to call you. Sorry it’s so early.” She glanced at her watch and braced herself for a hostile reply.

  He cleared his throat. “Hi. Wow. You really called.” He didn’t sound angry.

  “You asked me to.” Yeah, but since when did she start considering requests from him again?

  There was some shuffling, and Noelle heard a sleepy female voice in the background.

  “I guess I scared you when I came into the store,” Joel said at last, apparently waking up a little. “That wasn’t what I meant to do.”

  “Okay. So I guess that means you really were just coming in for groceries?” Noelle couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with a man who had plagued her sleep for so long—and they were actually being civil to each other.

  “No, I was going to talk to you, but I couldn’t make myself say what I needed to. I was afraid it would all come out wrong. I heard about your problems down in Hideaway,” he said. “Carissa okay?”

  “She’ll be fine. Thanks for asking.” So formal. So polite. Had they suddenly been transported to an alternate universe?

  “I guess it amazed you when you found out that I really was in church,” he said with a chuckle. “They have a recovery program, and I’m helping with it.”

  She managed not to laugh. “Helping?”

  “That’s right. My wife and I. One of the things we’re supposed to do in the program is go back to the people we’ve hurt and try to make amends. I never did that with you because I figured you would be better off if you never had to see me or hear my voice again. Now I know I was wrong. I should have talked to you three years ago. It’s what I’ve been trying to do the past couple of weeks.”

  Noelle didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure she knew how she felt about it. Could she believe him?

  In any case, she knew he would have a struggle ahead of him. When someone was as deep into an addiction as he had been, the attachment was so powerful it never really let go. Even if Joel remained clean, he’d be struggling with depression and regression for the rest of his life.

  “You’ve remarried?” she asked when the silence became ridiculous.

  “Yes. First I made some changes in my life. I nearly died before I did that, and if not for a preacher in California, I wouldn’t’ve made it. I’ve been off the stuff for three years now. Rhonda’s been clean for five. That’s my wife.”

  To Noelle’s amazement, tears stung her eyes. As she and Joel exchanged a few more pleasantries and agreed to meet—with his wife, and with Nathan—in Springfield in a few days to talk things over, she felt as if a heavy hand of oppression had released its hold on her.

  “I forgive you, Joel,” she whispered in the silent dimness of the waiting room after she’d hung up. “I wish you well.”

  Sure, they were easy words to say right now, and she knew there would be times ahead when she would struggle with that decision. But if she could forgive Joel, then she could forgive Pearl. And if she could forgive Pearl, she could forgive herself. Then, maybe she could release the past—and devote herself to the present…and the future.

  “Thank you, Lord,” she whispered. “Thank you for showing me that living with bitterness and regret is not the way to live. Would You please show me what is the right way?”

  A few moments later, creeping past an open door on her way to the bathroom, she saw Karah Lee and Blaze, drinking their morning coffee and eating a typical clinic breakfast.

  Karah Lee saw her and gestured for her to join them. “You look hungry.” She shoved a small box of assorted doughnuts across the desk. “Help us out. The bakery always sends us too many, and I can’t afford one more calorie or I’ll pop my drawstring.”

  Noelle eyed the maple longjohn with interest. It was a far cry from goat’s milk yogurt, but she felt as if a week had passed since she’d last eaten. Coffee beckoned from the corner pot, and she gave in to temptation.

  Blaze pulled a chair out for her and handed her a napkin. “I just checked on Nathan. He’s still asleep.”

  “How are his vitals?”

  “Perfect. He’s strong as a horse. He woke up about two this morning and asked if you were okay.”

  Noelle sank into the chair with a sigh. “Other than the crick in my neck, I’ll be okay. Did Carissa go home with Cecil and Justin last night? I seem to have fallen asleep.”

  Karah Lee shook her head sadly. “She’s still at my place. Don’t worry, Fawn’s keeping a close eye on her. She’ll get to go home today. Melva probably will, too, if Greg has anything to do with it. Oh, and Carissa asked me to give you a message. She remembered what was so familiar about her abductor was the smell.”

  “What kind of smell?”

  “Rosemary.”

  Noelle blinked against a new sting of tears. Aunt Pearl. “Did she say anything else?”

  “She said Pearl kept saying, ‘I can’t do this. I’ve got to stay in control. I can’t do this.’”

  Noelle studied the shimmering black surface of her coffee. Obviously, her great-aunt had been fighting a fierce inner battle.

  “Bertie’s preparing one of her special breakfasts for Nathan this morning,” Blaze said. “I’ll go fetch it soon as he’s awake. Maybe she’ll let me have some, too.”

  “You’ve already eaten a bear claw and a jelly roll,” Karah Lee complained.

  “Hey, I’m a growing boy.” He reached for another doughnut.

  “Fawn’s planning to walk Carissa to church this morning,” Karah Lee said. “But Cecil and Melva had better watch that tomboy of theirs. She’s got your looks, Noelle. She’s going to be breaking hearts someday soon.”

  “She’d better wait a few years.” Noelle sank her teeth into the maple bar and chased it with a sip of delicious coffee.

  “So everybody’s asking about you,” Blaze said. “When do you start work?”

  Noelle nearly choked.

  Karah Lee shot Blaze a hard look.

  “What did I say?” he protested. “I read that the best time to get somebody to do what you want is hit them up when they’re eating. Their guard is down then.”

  “How about if I send you my résumé?” Noelle asked.

  Blaze’s dark eyes widened. “Well, what do you know? It worked.”

  “All right!” Karah Lee shoved a fist of victory into the air. “Did Jill finally talk you into it?”

  “Jill doesn’t know.” But it was time to come home. “First, I’ll need to break it to my business partner, and hire more help at the store.” Yes, it was definitely time.

  She talked with them for a few more moments, then b
rushed the crumbs from her wrinkled jeans and excused herself.

  As she entered the room where Nathan lay sleeping, she saw his outline in the same bed that had been Carissa’s. He breathed evenly and deeply.

  His wound was not as serious as she had feared, and Karah Lee had indicated last night that Nathan would probably be released today.

  Once again, tears of gratitude filmed Noelle’s eyes, as she recalled hearing Karah Lee’s words of reassurance last night. And now, as she stared at Nathan’s tousled, dark-brown hair and his face, relaxed in sleep, she knew things would never be the same between them. Their old, easy friendship had changed beyond description, and she was eager for the change.

  She stepped quietly to the window and gazed out at the lake, blanketed in fog. Thank you, Lord, for so many things. Carissa’s safe. Nathan’s safe. Please deal gently with Melva, so she can remain at home with the husband and stepchildren she loves with such devotion. And please be patient with me as I learn to give it all to You on a regular basis. I’m a little out of practice.

  She heard the rustle of sheets and looked across to find Nathan watching her with a glint of sleepy humor in his eyes.

  “I hope you’ll be eternally grateful that I rescued you last night,” he said.

  She grinned at him. “Good morning. I’ll take the matter under consideration, if you’ll promise to try to eat something from your breakfast tray when it arrives.”

  He moved to sit up, then winced, reaching for his shoulder. “I may need help to eat it,” he said, feigning a pitiful voice.

  She chuckled. “Bertie Meyer’s sending over her famous spread from her kitchen. You going to let a little sore arm keep you from her biscuits and gravy and omelet casserole? Or those black walnut waffles?”

  “Nope. Karah Lee did say she was letting me out of here today, didn’t she? I don’t remember much else about last night, but I do remember that.”

  “She said probably.” Noelle stepped to the end of the bed and reached for the control button. She pressed it until Nathan could sit up comfortably, then went to his side. “It seems to me you also remember saving my life.”